Have you lied to somebody recently, including yourself? Chances are you have. While the simple honest truth is what everybody likes to hear, at some point of time or another everyone lies. And lies cost dearly, lies cost you money, trust, relations, peace. In other words it’s the chief ingredient of almost all the negativity around us.
It begins in childhood. Kids are very well aware that lying is forbidden, but then they think “If I lie, whom does it hurt?” It’s impossible to pinpoint as to why do they lie, these ideas are usually passed onto them by their peers and other adults. Very much to the fact that in our childhood we had at least one uncle or aunt who gave us chocolate or money and told us not to tell our parents and thus made us lie, subsequently we thought parents won’t find out, let’s try. At this time if not disciplined the child can have serious issues while growing up.
Everyone lies but not everyone can find out the difference between lie and truth. There is something called as convincing lie which is lying in such a way that the listener feels you have enough evidence to support that you’re telling the truth, like when you tell somebody over the phone that you have fever, they will believe you because you are always keeping sick.. Again there is something called as white lie, a lie told to avoid hurting somebody`s feelings. You visit a relative for lunch and after its over they ask you how was food, you tell a white lie, even though the curry was lacking salt and dal was slightly burnt. Fabricated lie, is an arrow we strike in the dark, telling others information you are not sure is correct. Deception is something we do often when we are attracted to somebody, trying to create false impression of you to others for ego satisfaction. And you are not done yet; breaking promises is a lie too.
But not all lies are bad. Lies are seen as an evil that society tries to curb at its infancy or say when we are growing up. Yet again, sometimes (NOT ALWAYS) lying can save you from getting hurt, hurting somebody else. Though even that has its own implications, honest truth is the best solution if not the fittest.
It takes exceptional memory power to remember a lie, but telling truth is effortless. Stress, anxiety, hurt ego are all side effects of lying. You lie to yourself too to calm your brain, covering a lie with another does more damage than good. Our subconscious mind cannot be deceived. Truth is hard but truth is the only thing that can set one free.
Anita Kelly and LiJuan Wang of Notre Dame recruited a group of 110 people from 18 to 71 years old, and told them that once a week for ten weeks they'd have to come in and, in a lie detector machine, report how many times in the previous week they had lied. But the group was divided in half. 55 of them got explicit instructions in how to avoid lying. (They could avoid telling the truth, or not answer, just not out and out confabulate.) The other group got no instructions, just the request to come in once a week and tell the truth about how many times they had lied last week.
Everybody lied less. But the group that had gotten advice on how to avoid lying reduced their fabrications far more. And in questionnaires, those who had lied less reported better mental and physical health. They reported improvements in their relationships, less trouble sleeping, less tension, fewer headaches, and fewer sore throats
When you lie, you will probably get the benefit but what’s the point of it when your lie costs you what money can’t buy? Peace of mind, relations that take years to have trust built, friendships that nurtured in the hard times, your self-respect. Why risk it all?
As far as I am concerned, and those who know me well know the fact that I speak truth, on the face and I expect the truth on the face too. My direct ways of talking are not something everyone agrees on but I am living carefree. Easier to build castles of truth than sit on a mountain of lies.
-SAiSH
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