#06 Wireless Love

Love letters, roses, proposing on one knee, calling at random time to say those magic words, who does that? and magic words? Excuse me?
With the advent of internet and social networking sites, certain aspects of romance and relationships have gone for a toss. And before I continue let me tell you what those magic words are. I love you. In case you happen to be a teenager and somebody speaks about magic words, remember those.

Getting back to romance and internet.  There was a time when romance was without internet and mobile phones. Those hand written love letters, proposals, roses had and still has more originality and power than sending ecards, texts, emails, emoticons. Along with these there has been change in values of affection, trust, faith. The mass appeal of social networking sites has made us emotionally handicap. Now here I wish to divert a little bit. Into long distance relationships and relationships. I will discuss the former because its the one that has more impact of internet than the latter.

Finding somebody cute or hot, liking their photos, adding them, chatting, flirting, then video chats, exchanging numbers and if everything goes well, real physical encounter, two people click, well and good. they don't. NEXTTT! I wonder wheres the feeling part in this. Just attraction?
People despise such over the internet relationships mainly because of two reasons. One is that anybody can fake looks and pretend to be somebody they aren't. Two is that lack of physical contact, touch. Besides always a risk of cheating. Who knows, he may be telling many girls the exact same thing. How are you supposed to believe that? And wait, how is he supposed to believe you? Problem? Not exactly.

While it may be easy to fake expressions over the wireless world, its not easy to decieve someone mentally. Certain signs, actions, these join two distant partners in an invisible thread of trust. that HE IS THE ONE feeling arises. If you are even a little smart you can easily make out the fake from the real. And no I don't agree that proximity is an absolute necessity to love someone. There are people who are close, they are the best of friends, they secretly love each other and yet cant tell. Proximity isn't a necessity. Communication is. Being clear about the feelings, expression of even the littlest of doubts. Jumping to conclusion is one thing that can spoil any relationship. There must be millions of people out there in long distance relationships, but then how many are for real? Is your love true? Controversial to say the least.

Let me tell you about mine. Yes mine is wireless love. Proudly so. My partner and I live just a little under 2000km far. We are happy over the daily telephonic conversations we have, the occasional skype and texting. We keep our relationship alive by feeding it with constant doses of love, making each other laugh, teasing, sharing the nostalgia of our last encounter. Most of all, we believe in a world composed of just two souls, two of ours. Others are just supporting us. We are far yet together. And from my experience I can happily conclude that a faithful partner far is much better than a doubtful one close.
And no, she isn't incredibly pretty nor am I immensely handsome. We are just two happy souls living in our love world.

Wireless love, desirable or not? Your choice. Partners living next door have no gurentee of their relationship leave wireless love aside. Be true to your partner and most importantly be true to yourself. You cant cheat yourself. Stay blessed. :)

Keep Calm and I will be back

Nope, Saish is going absolutely nowhere. He is occupied. Between his graveyard shift job and happening life. Will be back soon. Keep Calm and trust me ;)

#05 And god walked back into the pavillion

God and pavilion , anybody without basic knowledge of cricket or for that matter anybody who doesn't read the tabloids will find these words unrelated. While one associates God with spirituality, pavilion is associated with sports. And I tell you what, you must be incredibly stupid if you don't comprehend who is God when it comes to cricket. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar or little master as he is known as, walked back into the pavilion at Wankhede Stadium after being dismissed by Narsingh Deonarine. My Facebook status posted right after his dismissal read.


A billion hearts thump for one last time as god departs, there will not be a greater exponent in the 22 yards than the man who walked into that Pavilion amidst standing ovation by countless of his fans. Tendulkar the very definition of batting. A legend departs. Proud to have lived in the gods era.

As much as I would say you relate gravity to Newton, drama to Shakespeare, Theory of evolution to Charles Darwin, the same way is Sachin Tendulkar to batting. In a country where cricket is considered as a religion, he is worshiped as a God, or it wont harm if I say THE GOD. 24 years of cricket and 200 tests under his belt, having played with 600 different players from around the world including 120 from India itself. He isn't any less than an Icon of the sport. An inspiration to millions probably billions of cricket fans.

With his retirement after this match which should wrap up tomorrow, I would say an Era comes to its end. Era that witnessed reinvention of cricket, era of Sachin. With the rise of new generation in the likes of Rohit Sharma, Cheteshwar Pujara, Ravichandran Ashwin, Virat Kohli. The future of Indian cricket certainly looks bright.

#04 Reboot without restart

Reboot? Restart? You are probably wondering why I have suddenly started writing on technical stuff. Well no, nothing like that. I got a call in the evening and the person on the other side made me introspect. Conversation lasted for half an hour, can you believe, an absolute stranger calls you up one fine evening and you start looking within yourself. But it happened.

To begin with, since I started living with my parents since I turned 10, life hasn't been easy going for me, till now. You might react saying whose life is easy? Everyone has problems. Nobody showcases. I am saying Lets say my life had some unexpected transitions. From Konkani Medium primary school to English medium secondary. Comfort of grandma`s place to new environment of my parents place. New city. To idea of joining vocational training in Frankfinn Institute and then entering work life at the age of 19. Not everybody goes through all this. Do they?

Coming back to introspection. It had mainly been about whats been bothering me. The way she had walked away was completely unexpected. I had myself felt I did nothing wrong. I was only shown something that I wasn't aware of during introspection and it actually made sense. Somehow those words cleared the air I had between her and me. One more call and I had my smile back. Her voice subtle as her usual self. Few things said and i had my too much in my life. As shockingly she had stepped out, she entered back. Awesome surprise.

One thing though I tell you. One must learn to adjust for any relationship to go on. You cant control someone, you cant clap with one hand. Talk but listening is equally important. Express but also understand. Love doesn't happen again and again in the exact same way. Let your ego stand way aside. Soul mates are meant for support,care, nurture and most importantly affection. Someone you share every moment of your life with. Someone you accept with all their shortcomings, someone accepting you for yours. While Unconditional love is only seen in films. Love is something essential for us humans, like oxygen, like food. Our brain feeds on thoughts and love is a vital catalyst for those to be good.

About this pic, I was 13 at that time and dad had brought the very first digicam. a 6 megapixel Sony S600. One of the childhood memories. My first delight. For photography is my passion now. While it may be past 14th November in India, I want to wish people in the other parts of the world. A very happy children's day. A child is always in us says psychology. Let that child come out. Aakhir me dil toh baccha hai ji.

I cant express my happiness in words. Its like a dream come true. Happiness has no measurement. A new beginning has begun. One with reboot without restart. We let go of what held us back. Started afresh without going off totally. Staying positive and hoping for the best.

Koi bigaadta hai kuch,
Toh banata bhi hai.
Kabhi aansu tohfe me deta hai,
Toh hasi ki chuskiyan bhi pilata hai.
Zindagi hai tere mere naam ki ab.
Saath rehna hai sada, dekhte hai koi kya bigaad paata hai.

#03 missing you? Not really...

Was uploading photos from my DSLR to computer, came across some photographs which took me right back to the time, the memories we created together. the remnants of the unforgettable time we had in October first week. While you may not be in my life, every little thing around me, be it your LOL ka l o l batana ya tere dimaag se upar jaane waale gaane. Those memories we shared, I have no idea what you feel about them but for me they are priceless.

I feel its taken that when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you begin to study their every little habit. Right from things they want to hear or want you to avoid, till their ring size. You adapt so that they can be comfortable with you. You sacrifice certain aspects of your lifestyle for them, you forget time, you fear. because nothing can absolutely keep someone with you forever and yet guarantee you that. No, minds change, all you have to do is best you can do. Like how I was, the best of myself. I made you my world. I kept track of everything you did at every moment of time. Right now as you are probably reading this I know what exactly is going through your mind. Its a connection like no other. I forgot myself in your love.

Sometimes I just cant believe that you`re gone. Like yesterday I was holding you in my arms and today I am all by myself. I genuinely loved you. Maybe time wanted this to happen. How foolish I was, I made you my destination. A soulmate is supposed to walk along, not meant to be walked to. I still cant believe you said those words I LOVE YOU TOO. when you never had any intentions of meaning them. While my heart asks many questions, I have one thing to say. How I was with you, I wont be with you ever again, that part of me vanished the day you left me.

Having hard time accepting the fact that you chose someone else over me, am I missing you? Not really. I am nostalgic. Memories are mine. I will cherish them like how one keeps their most valued belongings.

Stay tuned for more posts. :)

#02 Money is just another piece of paper.

Money, man spends some 30-40 years earning it so that he can live in peace for the rest of his life. A piece of paper that controls his life. While some poor people beg on the streets, and others filthy rich, lose money in gaming and seem unperturbed about it. Somewhere in between falls Me. Middle class. My financial status isn't the topic of this post so lets focus on what this topic is about. But before we do that let me tell you one thing. I earn myself, and am not dependent on anybody for any need. I don't like spending my parents money because I have a job which pays me somewhat OK.

Getting back on track, I feel money isn't everything on mans life. But mental peace is. You have all the money in the world, all material means of happiness that is a grand house, best home appliances, fancy car. All that comes to nothing if mind isn't calm. Worries, tensions, anxiety render all these as purely THINGS.

I am at such a stage, maybe i have brought myself to it. few caring friends, or a passionate lover is all that's needed, but then what is it? Even though lover is gone, I have some awesome friends. Who just kick me back into reality from fantasy, who inspire, who make me laugh. Or Probably I am in a transition phase where I am recovering from a bad breakup, to become a fun person I find myself as. Money is dirt of hands, as said by Ranbir Kapoors character in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. It probably is, without support, care and affection from other human beings, money is just another piece of paper.

Change is Good

So the change in address and change in blog name, what does it mean? Why did a poetwithinme became lifeofsaish? Are the questions I am sure you are having on your mind. Let me answer that. Thats because language is meant to deliver authors thought to the mind of the reader without any proper form, poetry for example here, will be posted alongside thoughts. I wish to thank Acchu for being there for me in the bitter times I have been going through recently. So lets begin.

To the girl whose presence makes my heart beat

Magic till now I had only seen
In the movies and in my dreams
Then you enter my life suddenly
and life seems like a fantasy really
yet its not, we are real.
May be it is the gods will.
Amongst darkness I was surrounded
Dream as though it all sounded.
My breaths until I found you, were only mine,
With yours together they got definition fine.
Since I was a kid I tell you, never felt like this,
Being around you, being yours, being heard touched, nothing I wanna miss.
Peace in your presence around
I found my world in you.
Not a promise of forever this
You are where my happiness is.
I dont need to tell how really i feel,
Just look into my eyes and see it for real.
Love you Too much

Dedicated to Snigdha- and a new start

Life gives surprises

Found out it is so

Opened my facebook

And to my awe

A request appeared on screen

Long time since its been

Curiously enough I glanced

Into her profile

Seemed nice i realised

She looked fine

But i wondered how

Our two fates are intertwined

Said hello

And conversation went on

Couldnt stop myself

I wanted to hold on

Dedicated a song

And it made her giggle

Just as then

My emotions began to wiggle

Eyes opened to her hello
replied sweet with my breath mellow
One more surprise was
to come and make my day
even though the lazy person in me
on bed wanted to stay.
Asked about skype
Gave my id quick
For I wanted to know her
and turned on the laptop, in a flick.
Hesitant initially, slowly her cam i saw
it wasnt the reaction she anticipated
in my mind I was in awe
Said I smile a lot
thats my nature
For i am a happy go lucky
a jolly fun creature.
Curious expressions
I wondered whats on her mind
as she wanted to unearth my story
asked for a short rewind
Opened my heart
as if it were a book
even so she wanted to know
every cranny every nook.
Time wasnt enough
and she went to sleep
just time about.
Feels good
Made me smile
Thousand thank yous to
you dear
we will stay for a long while.

Dedicated to the little girl from Vishakhapatnam

Like a ray of completeness
You get me sleep in peace,
Like I have lived
Puts a smile on my face,
No matter what happens
around who comes and goes
you stand by my thoughts
guarding my happiness.
Selfless I can’t imagine
Never been care for so
much that I feel
Like you are the sky
I live under.
Like the light in my
path, you know my movement
my mood, at the back of
your palm,
Amazes me the way you read
every expression without being
around, like you know
the rhythm of my
beating heart.
The time we met
Not a fairytale but was magic
I can still feel your pulse
racing against mine,
two hearts beating
after being years apart,
Though there are things
I don’t know
what future holds,
Yet I can tell you
this much,
You are special,
You matter to me,
You are my sky I live under
the Earth I live on,
Never I will let you
be away,
Not a minute,
Your smile, is my wish.
Holding you close
I want to tell you
this,
Gonna keep you close
to my heart always.
Love you for everything!

Because it happened already

Realized a truth

Years later it may be.
Now I understand it better,

What happened in the past.

No matter how much

One tries to make up for it

For their actions, words said

It can do nothing to change

Because it happened already.

No matter how many times

You punch the wall,

How many drinks you have trying

To get over it

Changes nothing

Because it happened already.

Memories remain

Bad ones giving tears

Good ones making smile

What doesn’t remain is whats gone.

Dear ones lost, feelings changed

In the bitter taste of reality,

Under the shadow of truth.

Because it happened already.

Each of us is different

And have different ways to deal

With hurt and regrets

Some resist it passively

Some live with it without

Letting known but one thing common

Doesn’t make feel anything better

Because it happened already.
Each night In my head

I ask myself how do I rekindle

How do I at least take myself

Away from painful reality.

Ever so helpless

No one cares whats happening

Inside me, the raging storm

Takes my life slowly each night.

And my past falls on me like skybreak

Each night I shatter a little bit more.

Unable to forget, unable to forgive myself.

Past dawns like a nightmare

I want my old life back

Happy I want to be.

Life is a shining piece of crap.

Because it happened already.